Terrorist Dirty Bomb Detonated in Mississippi: Noone Can Tell the Difference

In retribution for US military action in the middle east, terrorists today detonated a "dirty bomb" packed with a combination of lethal bacteria and weapons grade plutonium in rural Mississippi. According to state authorities, noone has been able to find the bomb site to assess the damage.
"We know one went off," reported Floyd Dipstrom, of the state's Emergency Services Division, "cause seismigraphs registered the explosion, and Al Qeada took responsibility for it with a phone call an hour later. It's just that most of the state is so damn run down we can't tell the difference between the bomb site and just plain old disrepair."
The area where the US Geological survey claims the blast took place has been surveyed seventeen times by national guard teams, but no wreckage more significant than lean to's and the ubiquitous craters left by homemade bombs or exploded stills has been located. While high levels of necrotic bacteria and ambient radiation have been recorded nearby, they are no higher than those normally caused by poor living conditions and illegal toxic dumping in the country-side.
Local resident Buford Simms had this to say: "I don't know why those soldier boys can't find the crater. That bomb was so powerful it blew the dirt off'n one of the walls of my shed. All you gots to do is find that clean wall. Nice, too. Don't have to hose it down for another two years now."
The Bush administration reacted quickly, decrying the incident and promising federal disaster relief would be on the way, "as soon as we get done liberatin' Iraq, Iran, Syria, and maybe that one I saw on the discovery channel with all them Jewish people livin' in it."