Terrorist Seize the Capitol Building: Threaten to Release One Congressman an Hour Until Demands Met

In a bold attack on US soil the terrorist group "Big Ass Warriors of Allah" took control of the Capitol building by force of arms. They have issued a statement to the press in which they threatened to release their hostages unless all of their demands are met.
"If they do what they threaten," commented FBI special agent Mark Tool,"we could end up with yet another do-nothing congress that will roll back years of social and economic reform. We have to believe that this group will carry out their threat. If we don't act now congress could be back in session by the end of the week."
The terrorists first threatened to kill the hostages if the US refused to pull out of the middle east. After recieving only laughter in reply to this demand, they lowered their requests to safe conduct home, a press conference, then finally a klondike bar, all of which were refused. It was then that they changed tactics, threatening to release the congressmen they held.
"Clearly no one anticipated muslim extremists getting their hands on such a weapon of mass destruction," noted political pundit James Grover. "There's no telling how much more damage such idiots could do if given the chance. The best thing we can do is rope off the capitol building, or maybe surround it with a ring of burning napalm, then get on with our lives."
The government did attempt a commando raid earlier today, but it was repelled. The terrorists retaliated by sending out senator Orrin Hatch of Utah. No further action is planned.