North Korea Admits Possessing Army of Zombie Psychics

In a move that surprised no one, North Korea continued it's game of one upmanship with the United Sates today by announcing to the world that it possesses an army of psychic zombies. The North Korean defense minister Duk Il Now made the statement: "As you can see, we now have a whole army of these zombie psychics! Take that! One more point for North Korea!"
This is simply the latest event in an escalating "make-believe" arms race between the US and North Korea, which began with Pyongyang's admission that thier nation possessed nuclear weapons. The US quickly countered claiming the presence of "secret new laser satellites" that could shoot down the Korean missiles. The North Koreans responded by contending that their missiles weren't just missles, but could transform into giant killer robots. Soon after the US upped the ante by talking about building a new class of submersible aircraft carrier. This week it was point, set and match with the North Korean announcement of their zombie army. According to Korean officials, voodoo priests, kidnapped from Haiti, raised this army of the dead and gave them psychic powers to use against American troops. By all accounts the White House was stunned by the announcement, with President Bush said to be scrambling for a response.
"It's up in the air right now," an unnamed Pentagon source was quoted as saying, "we're looking at any number of response options. Some parties favor a missile base on the moon, some want to send teams to England to search for excaliber, we've even got one general who thinks our best course is to hire a coven of witches."
Formally the only US response has been to declare the zombie army a violation of the "non-proliferation of armies of the dead" treaty, though North Korea was not a signatory of that document.