Creationists Cite Old Warranty Card as Evidence For Age of Earth

Set in the idyllic surroundings of Dumptown, Mississippi, the headquarters for the "National Christian Theology and Violence Union" seems an unlikely place for trouble to start. But that's just what happened yesterday when officals there held a press conference at which they produced an expired warranty card, claiming it proved the earth was no more than a couple of thousand years old.
While the warranty card was heavily weathered, the writing describing it as covering "Planet Earth from defects in worksmanship" was still perfectly legible. The card detailed several instances in which the warranty would no longer be valid, including use of the earth as a hammer or prybar. The return address on the card was not legible, but the signature was a large X which glowed with divine light.
The members of the group claimed they found the warranty card in an old dresser God was throwing out. Tucked underneath a few T-shirts, next to a copy of Action Comics No.1 and the cure to cancer, was the warranty card.
Caleb Gaptuth, head of the union, issued this statement:
"This should prove to all the non-believers that the earth is only six thousand years old. The date of manufacture is clearly shown. What more evidence does anyone need? We are, of course, a peaceful organization. We think the evidence speaks for itself. But to make sure everyone has seen the evidence we plan to start a bombing campaign to draw attention to it."
Scientists at first reacted with skepticism to the warranty card, until several assassinations convinced them to back the evidence wholeheartedly. There has been no comment yet from the White House on the validity of the card, though White House spokesman Sam Sloan made it clear that the President intended to address the issue as soon as he was done playing Nintendo.