All Vampire Company Puzzled by Low Sales Numbers for Blood Flavored Popsickles

In an attempt to capitalize on the low-carb, high protein craze that swept America, the all Vampire corporation Sons of Dracula Inc. launched a new product line six months ago. They had high hopes for their new popsickles made from blood concentrate. Now they say they may have to discontinue the line.
"I don't understand," stated Vlad the 5th, CEO of Sons of Dracula Inc., "everybody loves popsickles! And everybody loves blood! So what went wrong?"
Despite a high profile sales campaign the popsickles showed flagging sales almost as soon as they were shipped to stores. An informal poll of shoppers indicated that almost all of their purchasers were either buying them as a practical joke or involved in some kind of cult.
"These findings disturbed us," Vlad noted in an interview with this correspondant from his dungeon in Romania, "since we like to think of ourselves as a family company. We don't make our products to be purchased by a bunch of wierdos."
Based on those findings, Sons of Dracula Inc. attempted to bolster sales by offering free samples of the blood popsickles at venues that seemed conducive to the product. Sales representatives traveled the country, offering the samples at any event they believed would make the participants think of blood.
"We gave away millions of our popsickles. We expended a great deal of effort to get our free samples to car accidents, trials of mass murderers, bombings, stretches of highway with a high incidence of road-kill, you name it. And still our sales declined." Vlad continued, with a sad shake of his head.
Full time market analyst J.J. MacElroy had this to say, offering the only reasonable explanation for the product's failure yet fielded:
"Who in the hell wants to eat a frozen chunk of blood anyway?"